Do you find yourself putting the needs of others first, even though you are beyond your own capacity?
When you want to say “no” do you find yourself saying “yes”?
Have you disagreed with something someone said or did, but you kept quiet because you just wanted to get along?
If so, these are just a few examples of Self Abandonment.
Self abandonment is when you hide parts of yourself - your feelings, beliefs, nee
ds and ideas in order to fit in or please others.
If you wonder why you do this, you may be surprised to learn that self abandonment is connected to a lack of self-worth.
Self-worth is when you see yourself as a valuable, capable person deserving of respect and c
onsideration.
When you don’t believe you are worthy, you abandon yourself for the sake of others.
Examples of self abandonment:
People Pleasing
Dismissing or suppressing your emotions
Perfectionism
Self criticism or judgement
Not asking for what you need
Doubting your instincts
It’s a coping mechanism, usually developed in childhood, to help you feel safe. Think of your life like a story and Self Abandonment is a character you created to help you feel safe in family dynamics or places where you feared rejection and just wanted to be loved and accepted.
As you get older, the Self Abandonment character continues playing that role, consciously and unconsciously, in every area of life. This can lead to anxiety, depression, low self esteem, pressure to overachieve, unhealthy relationships and more.
You can write a new story for yourself by writing off the character of Self Abandonment and reconnecting to your true self.
If you struggle with self abandonment and need help changing this behavior, let’s connect.
You are worthy!