Why Every Mother Needs One and Should Be One
Motherhood is a long journey with many twists, turns, and winding roads. One moment you feel confident and the next moment you find yourself filled with doubt. It’s a space where you can be surrounded by lots of people, yet you still feel alone and like you’re the only one going through ‘this’. Despite the moments and feelings, I’ve learned we are never alone. Someone has been where we’ve been and has felt what we’ve felt.
A few years ago I began receiving messages on Facebook, Instagram, and via text saying things like,
You are so blessed.
You are such a great mom.
You are raising a phenomenal young lady.
I’m so proud of you! You inspire me to “level up”.
I want to be you when I grow up!
Have you tried this box of wine? (Coupled with a brand photo)
The messages were a welcomed surprise because they usually came when I was having a moment of doubt, felt criticized for a parenting choice, was
stressed about something regarding my children, or I was just going about my day-to-day work of being a mom. At first, I didn’t know how to respond
other than replying with “Awwww, thank you!”, or an emoji that represented thankfulness.
But, the one thing I could always give a definitive answer to was the wine question, that was definitely a yes or let me check that out.
You see, I didn’t know anyone was watching me going through my motherhood journey. Like many mothers, I felt like I was just another mom doing what moms do. But after a while, the encouraging messages developed into back-and-forth conversations between two mothers separated by 1100 miles yet connected via digital platforms designed for sharing stories, advice, encouragement and most importantly wine recommendations.
While social media often connects complete strangers, we didn’t meet through any local moms group. Actually, I met her years before she started sending messages. She’s my Aunt Pamm, a mother who has experienced the process of parenting in a myriad of seasons and roles. She’s a mother, stepmother, grandmother, and great-grandmother and in these roles she’s learned that wisdom comes in every stage and phase of motherhood.
For many moms, social media is a space for connection and serves as a means to keep us connected. We stay connected in this space. She shares posts about her life and I share posts about mine. Her posts are always encouraging, uplifting and highlight the loves of her life - her God, her husband, and all of her children. Curious to learn more from her life experience, one day I called her and we talked at length about life, marriage, and raising three generations of children. I listened intently as she shared stories about the things she did right and the things she got wrong.
As we swapped stories I grew to understand the motive behind all the messages she sends me. She knows that motherhood is a tough journey. She has experienced first hand what it feels like to be doing the best you can with what you know, but it still not be enough. Through four decades of motherhood, she comes to understand the one thing every mom needs is someone to encourage her. Someone to say, “You are so blessed.”, “You are such a great mom.”, or “I’m so proud of you.”
Although she is my aunt, I marvel at the wisdom she’s attained being a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She serves as my beacon to pay-it-forward to other mothers around me. So, to any mom reading this I want you to know that “You are such a great mom. You are so blessed and I’m so proud of the work you are doing.” I’d also like to encourage every mother reading this to do the same. Find a mom to encourage. You may not know her story, but as a mother, you know we all have those moments where we need just one person in our corner to serve as a Great EncouragHER.
“You are such a great mom. You are so blessed and I’m so proud of the work you are doing.”